You Don’t Have to Forgive in Order to Move On
No matter what well meaning people might say, some acts are totally unforgivable. I have witnessed (and had this done to me) people be berated, insulted and told their lives will never improve because they cannot forgive.
This is utter nonsense in my opinion. Firstly, I am living proof that this is not the case and I know I’m not alone in being able to move beyond horrific actions without forgiving those who inflicted them upon us.
Secondly, the issue, I believe is not with forgiving or not, it’s with…
Some Observations About Love
Below are some observations I have made about love.
The First Day of School
It should have been today, your first day of school.
Instead you were taken away by a man so hateful and cruel.
It should have been today, your first foray into education.
I should have been helping you on your way and not identifying your body at the police station.
It should have been today, a new adventure for you and me.
But that evil monster got in the way and now it will never be.
I have been told on numerous occasions by both men and women that makeup would make me look much better. Really? Am I that hideous that I require a disguise? I’ll stick to looking like me if that’s ok?
If you’re wearing makeup because you actually want to then great but I’ve met so many women and men who can’t leave the house without makeup because they have become trapped in the cycle of what someone should look like. I find that very sad especially in our so called progressive society.
Wear what makes you feel good, not what society tells you that you should. Don’t change your features just because you don’t fit in with the accepted look. The only person that you have to fit in with is yourself.
Film Review -The Fury (1978)
This is a supernatural horror film directed by Brian De Palma and staring such luminaries as Kirk Douglas and John Cassavetes.
Given this, in my opinion, it should have been a much better film than it was. It is an adaptation of a 1976 novel of the same name by John Farris.
In defense of Douglas and Cassavetes, they are doing the best they can with what they have been given. Both actors are playing very formulaic characters.
The problem here, I feel is two fold. The first issue is it focuses a bit too…
A Non-sexual Relationship is Still a Real Relationship
I’ve always found it odd that of all the non-conforming aspects of my 21 year relationship with my partner, the one some people seem to struggle to accept if they find out about it, is that we have not had sex in 12 years. Even prior to that, sex was infrequent to say the least.
The thing is, we entered our relationship knowing this and yet the response is often of horror or worse being told that I’m not in a real relationship. Excuse me? If sex is the lynchpin of a successful relationship then we should have been over many years ago.
My partner and I have been to hell and back several times over along with some truly amazing times and we’re still together. That to me is a sure sign that my relationship is real.
This is just a little catch up note. The last 18 months have been mad. There’s has been a pandemic, America finally saw sense and waved Donald Trump goodbye and my lovely other half kept me on my toes by having a heart attack and a perforated gallbladder. He doesn’t like to do things by halves!
I have finally taken the leap into self employment. It’s slow going but I’ve made a little bit of money. I have a part time job as well.
You and mum left before it got really crazy. I don’t think either of you would have faired well.
We miss you and mum.
That is what my sister and I have become, bookends.
I will explain, I haven’t completely lost the plot (not yet anyway)
There was once six of us, two parents and four children. There are now 3 of us, one parent and two children. I am the youngest and my sister is the remaining oldest sister from a set of non-identical twin sisters.
The gap is very noticeable in my heart even though it has been 18 years since the death of my sister and almost 4 years since the death of my brother. It is like the six years between me and my remaining sister has become a signpost of the missing siblings. I don’t know of any other way of explaining it.
What I do know for sure is that it still really hurts at times.
I’m not being derogatory to myself here, I’m stating a fact. What might be more surprising is that I’m ok with it.
The definition of frigidity according to https://www.medicinenet.com/frigidity/definition.htm is “Failure of a female to respond to sexual stimulus; aversion on the part of a woman to sexual intercourse; failure of a female to achieve an orgasm (anorgasmia) during sexual intercourse.”
There was a time when this troubled me a great deal and I felt that I was a terrible partner because of this. I did the expected things, self help books, techniques, taking things slowly etc. Eventually…
27 is No Age to Die
27 is no age to die. In reality though, it’s a miracle you got that far. You wreaked such destruction not only on us, but yourself too. That was your undoing. Despite it all, I loved you though I’m not sure you ever believed it.
This is one of the few photos I have of you. Our mother kept it amongst her treasured possession and I took it after she died in 2017. She never recovered from your death and nearly out lived our brother. He held on and joined her 4 months after she died.
I’m not a believer in heaven or the afterlife but if you are all together again, I hope things are much better for you all there than it was here.